First of all, I’m Zulkarnain. And you can just call me Zul.

I think it’s just about choosing happiness. Hiding from my parents were tiring and I didn’t want to come out to them until I was financially stable and could find my own place to stay. Unfortunately, through my silliness and carelessness, my parents found out.

Needless to say, my parents and I got into a huge argument and they wanted me to change. I was adamant with my position as a gay man, telling them it was impossible and that I am who I am. More importantly, I wanted to live an honest life with my parents. I didn’t want to have to lie to them for the rest of their lives.

Deep inside, I know they’re disappointed, but what about me? I’m disappointed that they chose to not understand me and chose to be in denial of who I truly am.

When it comes to religion, I have become agnostic. I believe in Allah but I also believe that He created me for a bigger purpose, far beyond my understanding and humans alike. According to the Quran, it is a sin to be gay. But truthfully, is it a sin to reject what Allah has given you in the first place?

I became my own backbone of support. That’s how I lived and survived this long. Through nights I’ve spent crying and praying hoping that I would magically turn straight, in the midst of praying I heard a voice I don’t recognize, but sounded holy, telling me, “it’s okay, I understand”.

Eventually it all worked out for me. InsyaAllah things would get better for me. I hope things will get better for you too.

Pick your battles well, pick your friends intelligently and learn to stand on your own because no one is gonna take responsibility for you.

All the best, my young padawan.

It’s been crazy these past 6 months, but never the less, it was a ride worth taking, with my left-wingman, Guang Wen. Why I say he’s my left-wingman? It’s because he prefers standing on my left when we take photos, that’s why. Nonetheless, 6 months being together is a huge milestone in our relationship, more than every month that passed, because, well, this is my first relationship that, well, really, lasted this long and anything beyond these six month is a whole new journey for me.

Well, with that aside, every Ice Cream Day, as we like to call it because that’s the only day we eat ice cream together, Guang Wen and I faced challenges a couple would face and with each passing month, saw different challenges and slowly, but surely, worked our way around our issues and always come to a compromise, which always seem to work for the both of us.

First month saw the challenge of Guang Wen’s post surgery. His face was bloated and he didn’t want to come outside. All he wanted to do was stay indoors. With that, I came over every time, bringing him treats galore, and even our Ice Cream Day for November was us stuffing our faces with Baskin & Robbin’s. It was difficult seeing him feel the pain from his surgery but by being there for him and watching hours and hours of movies, I could only hope that my presence mellowed down the pain. He didn’t like his bloated face, because he didn’t feel pretty but to me, he was like a cute pufferfish that I could never take my eyes off, and no matter how bad he swelled up, in my mind he was still as beautiful as ever and I was still proud to have him as my boyfriend.

His face swelled down towards the second month and he agreed to go out for Ice Cream Day. We went to Lilliput, a mini-golf course and it was so nice to see him so alive and by then I knew his spirits was back up. It was still one of the best Ice Cream Days so far.

In January for our third month, I got us tickets to Jurong Bird Park but with this, came the challenge of bringing my family along, mainly because I wanted them to have a feel of how my weekends were like. However I was rather hesitant on introuding Guang Wen to my family, but he was up for it and knowing that he was cool with it, we went along with our Ice Cream Day with my family. I never did introduced Guang Wen to my family as my boyfriend but they can pretty much tell we were close. Baby steps, I thought, and perhaps one day, perhaps, that we could move forward with our relationships with my family. The Jurong Bird Park outing came with a prize, that my family remembers him and that they invite him for Daanya’s birthday party, which really meant a lot, seeing that he also contributed to the party’s success as well.

Fourth month and into February, saw a new challenge of Guang Wen giving in for my career advancements. We didn’t do much for this Ice Cream Day because I had a seminar to attend with all the hotshots in the industry. However, this Ice Cream Day it was one the meaningful ones. He showed me that he wasn’t selfish when it came to my work ethics and that sometimes I can be running late due to work. He showed patience, care and concern. He was willing to have my back knowing that I can be a really busy bee. I rewarded him by dancing for him in the middle of Orchard Road.

Month number 5 had to be one of the most fun we’ve had in a long time. He just ORD-ed while I was busy at work but I took a day off to spend a full day with him and we watched two movies, had awesome food and ice skated. Even though there were hundreds of people around us skating, I could only see him, helping me maintain my balance by holding my hand. It was one of the times that we didn’t care if people noticed we were a couple. We were just very happy. However, towards the end of the night, we had an argument - possibly about something silly - but it was still a cause for concern. We, as a couple, when we don’t want to hurt each other’s feelings, we hold back what we think and it was from that moment on that we agreed that talking and communication was of great importance to make a relationship last beyond it’s honeymoon phase.

And here we are, six. Similar to February, I was busy for two weeks before Ice Cream Day, and even on the day itself, I was held up at work, not knowing the itinerary or when work would actually end. Still, Guang Wen was patient and showed a lot of concern for my well-being leading up to the day, with agreements of pampering me after a long fortnight of work.

I’ve always known the formula to our relationship was giving and taking. We don’t take more nor do we take less and it’s always better to share. For the past six months, we weren’t just sharing food, clothes and shoes (and sometimes a bed) but we shared everything, from our problems to our families and with that, I know that for the years ahead, I will be loving the man who loves me for who I am.

“Remember. 1 year and it’s Givenchy,” he jokingly said. Of course, I’ll be ready.

I love you, @sonic_g_wen.

My answer might ruffle some feathers but here me out, and hopefully you guys can share.

Religion & Politics: Singapore somehow can’t dfferentiate religion and politics. Most of our political law stems deeply in the the form of religion. Christianity, Catholisim and Islam are generally intolerant towards gays in general because of the respective holy books and their stance of religion. This is not fair. Not everyone should be punished for living their lives differently from what religion tells us because not everyone is religious. People should be allowed to live their lives differently and politics should never be intertwined with religion. Take the case of 377A. Clearly the British, who were the ones who instilled this law onto Singaporean law has abolished it and yet the government feels the need to keep it to “maintain the social fabric” of the country, but sex is sex and if anal sex between a man and a woman is alright even if it is the man getting stuffed, why can’t gay men can’t do the same? It’s a question that has been boggling a lot of Singaporeans, both straight and gay, because sex, while it may be anal, can be as loving as “normal sex”, and to gay men, “normal sex” is anal sex, and anal sex isn’t filthy or unnatural, it’s already embedded into our minds, so how can something that had been embedded without choice be counted as unnatural? You might not like something but that doesn’t mean you should stop others from doing it. I mean, Muslims don’t eat pork but we don’t stop anyone who wants to eat it. Everyone has their versions of what normal is and punishing people who can’t apply that “normal” is an unfair and unnatural act itself. Feel me, bro?

Media: Singaporean media is brutal when it comes to talking about gays and lesbians, transsexual and transvestites included.

Gay men: on media they are showcased as weak, effeminate and soft, an opposed view of a “pure man” who is “manly”. What many narrow-minded people don’t know, that gay men face the most adversity in life and are indeed emotionally stronger than straight men. Straight men literally have everything given to them. Gay men have to fight for what is rightfully theirs. Most gay men I know are almost nothing to what is portrayed in Singaporean media. Gay men I know are physically fit, have bodies of gods and are tough go-getters with a zest for life because of the basic rights that are taken away from them. Granted, there are effeminate gay men, the Singaporean media tend to focus on the fact that effeminate, dismissing and omitting their strengths, and this is itself, contributes to the negative and narrow-minded view of gay men.

Lesbians: have you ever noticed that Singaporean media has never talked about or showcased lipstick lesbians? The media seem to highlight that all lesbians play sports, have buzz cuts and wear mens clothing. This is untrue. There are famous lesbians in the local media that are so feminine, and that they do not possess the characteristics of a butch. This in turn have made people think that, “oh she’s a tomboy, she must be lesbian” or “she’s so womanly and sexy. Oh she’s definitely straight.” This is not true at all! At all!

Transsexuals and transvestites: they have it worst. They are often portrayed in the media as “ugly men in women’s clothing with clown make up” and I hate this the most about the media. They are the strongest bunch of people and they’re the ones with the most interesting stories and they always get dismissed by Singaporean media, portrayed as a joke. Once I saw popular dance troupe Voguelicious on Malay newspaper, Berita Harian portrayed as rejects of families and society. I shook my head in disappointment as the members of the troupe claimed to have been tricked into answering questions about how they were rejected and how they dressed instead of focusing on their talent.

That’s the thing with Singaporean media. The LGBT are always treated as a joke and that a “cure” exists. It’s highly disappointing that a country with first world infrastructure has a third world mindset.

Sexual health: for this ill keep it short. Straight people get infected with HIV too! Gay people get infected too but it seems that gays have it worst because HIV to many in Singapore, is portrayed as a gay disease. I’m sure Action For AIDS (AFA) are doing their part to spread awareness to everyone but the media makes people think that straights are free from HIV! Reveal the statistics of which race and sexual orientation group gets infected the most. Here’s a tip: it’s Malay heterosexuals.

So there you have it. I may have offended some of you guys but this how I feel. Let me know what you think through twitter (http://twitter.com/mdzulkar9) and ill gladly respond. Thank you.

I am redoing my website, so if you need me, beep me up:

• mdzulkar9
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Let’s look back on what you have been doing for the past 47 years of independence and beyond.

Yes, we have progressed from nothing. From being an island found by Sang Nila Utama, to the discovery by Raffles of us being a gold mine for port and trade, Singapore is indeed a success story envied by many countries.

With (relatively) fast growing transport infrastructures, to tall buildings that touch the skies, certainly there is no doubt of the massive progress that the leaders and forefathers of Singapore has brought to its people.

Why, yes. We can go on and on about the achievements made by the hands of its very own people but fast forward to today.

The obsession of wanting to flourish as large as the world’s superpowers, you, as our leaders failed at one thing.

You have failed in giving your own people their basic need of protection.

Let’s not talk about war. We have the Singapore Armed Forces and the Ministry of Defence to brag and boast about the finest technology that its citizens will probably never use.

It’s about our day to day lives. We are human beings. We can’t be measured by statistics. We have our own needs and our own different struggles to go through and somehow, the fears of Singaporeans are not dealt with.

No, the fear isn’t xenophobia. If you take a look back, most of our forefathers weren’t aboriginals of Temasek. Some of our forefathers were neighbours in the Malay Archipelago and some from China, not to mention, India, and they make our nation.

So what is the fear? It’s having our jobs that are rightfully ours taken away. Gone were the days where Singaporeans served its own people at restaurants and shopping malls. Some of us are stuck at home without a stable income not because we couldn’t find jobs that were right for us but rather we have been replaced by cheap labour.

Take a good look at the recent SMRT protests. The bus drivers from China protested about how they weren’t well-taken care of, and almost immediately a meeting was held for them to review their concerns.

Take it back to us Singaporeans. How many times have we voiced out saying, “we don’t have jobs!”, and yet we were ignored?

Don’t blast your statistics on us, they’re provided by your own team.

Every time a new plan to bring jobs to the country, case in point, the integrated resorts (which really is the casino adorned in better vocabulary), were meant for our people and yet the people serving us at these places are foreigners, whose job scope can be easily done by Singaporeans.

It’s such a shame to go on Duck Tours and see that Filipinos giving a tour of the Singapore river. That’s not xenophobia, that’s just pathetic.

Don’t even get me started on our education system. How many more of these imports are you bringing in to give free education all the way up to university? What for? So they can be leaders in Singapore?

Okay, fair enough but why can’t you reward your own people with such benefits? We have 20-year-olds scratching their heads on how to pay for their polytechnic education fees of almost $15,000 and yet students from China get a Free Pass To Go on the Monopoly board game of Singapore education.

Face it. These people you bring in and give free education will return to their homeland and be big shots there. Why not you invest on your own people? Why not you invest your own flesh and blood?

The problem is that the government creates an education system so competitive that they forget that they are serving their own people - and that should be a priority. Education for our children is becoming very shaky.

We have foreigners coming in to our classrooms and that’s fine - but to give them benefits and scholarships for free when our own people have to put in extra sweat and blood, after which, they might not even get scholarships? That’s just embarrassing.

Rethink about how you are treating your own people. We, as Singaporeans don’t hate foreigners because they’re not from Singapore, we hate the fact that what is rightfully ours, in the land of Singapore, is given to them easily and we have to suffer.

We Singaporeans can’t afford a Cherry QQ without paying for high COEs while some foreigners come with Need For Speed cars and making scrap metal out of their Ferraris.

We don’t hate foreigners. We hate what you, as leaders of Singapore, have done. Man up, stop acting like a bitch and correct your mistakes. Own up to it.

You are the reason why Singaporeans are running to other countries for greener pastures. You have disregarded your own people for your greed of monetary benefits to your own wallet.

We’re not even asking for welfare or money. We’re asking for jobs and educations that do not fail us. What does that tell you about your own people, leaders of Singapore?

Sincerely
Very disgruntled Singaporean 

Captain inspected the room, found a pair of shorts, asked if it was mine. I held it in front of his face, “you really think my waist is this small?”

“Really ah?!” I giggled as he nodded in agreement.